Effective bs-ing can be easy once you master the tricks.

If you are lucky, you will already have a topic chosen for you. Or something that can help you pin down a specific topic. It is much easier to fake your way thru an article that is specific but not too specific. What you don’t want is something that is very specific but you also don’t what something very general.

Too General: American Movies

Too Specific: How Captain Jack Sparrow Is A Representation Of American Fears About Globalization. (You could probably fake your way thru it but it would be difficult.)

Just Right: How Movie Monsters Relate to American Fears

Now why is this title a good essay? It is a good essay because it allows the writer to be as specific or as general as they want. You can also probably find more than a dozen articles online about how Zombies represent the soviets or terrorists, or how Vampires represent rape or homosexuality or death. However, even if you don’t, it would be your opinion. Therefore, all you have to do is make up some references to a movie that has a monster and that’s the answer.

IWTVThe Homosexual angle could work.

Now once you have the topic selected, go to Wikipedia. Read an article about Movie Monsters, read about zombies, werewolves, Frankenstein’s monster, Cloverfield, Twilight, True Blood, Witches, whatever, just pick any three things. It’s best if you don’t have to quote sources but …

And this is VERY IMPORTANT!

DON’T CHEAT.

DON’T PLAGIARIZE.

DON’T COPY AND PASTE.

DON’T EVER CHEAT.

I hate cheaters and if you cheat, that is not called bs-ing; that is called being a loser.

But what you want to do is… read up on it, Wikipedia usually has the Cliff Notes or Spark Notes (depending on how old you are) of what it is that you need to write about and usually they have links for you to check out for references.

Going to the reference links gives you places to get quotes from, and quotes maybe one per paragraph will give you a way to stretch page out with information that is pertinent. Now after you quote sources, explain those quotes. Use the links from Wikipedia but don’t quote the Wiki article itself. Anyone can change the information on Wikipedia articles and you don’t want to include embarrassing mistakes. Your professor or instructor may question the validity of your entire paper if he/she reads that the Cloverfield monster likes Funyuns.

CloverfieldAll that and a bag of chips!

So let’s say, you argue that Jaws is about illegal immigration fears, So you quote Brody when he says “You’re gonna need a bigger boat.” Then in the following sentence you write, “When Brody states the necessity of a larger boat, he is stating that if we allow more immigrants into America we will need a bigger country and this makes American fearful.”
Jaws

The illegal immigrant burden?

And that is a perfectly acceptable sentence, and it would be your opinion and it’s an arguable statement. Is it true, doubtful, but it’s bullshit and as long as you got some percentage of truth to it, you got proof.

And that is how you fake your way through a paper.

Broaden, Wiki, Quote, Explain.

I don’t guarantee that you’ll get an A. You have to be a superb writer to get an A, but if you write well, don’t cheat, and learn to bullshit effectively. Always cite your sources but not Wikipedia, just the final source that you found. You should get at least a B. For A work you really got to know your stuff.

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