Below you will find my effort at rewriting these lines from Twilight: New Moon.
I skipped breakfast, in a hurry to get out of the house as quickly as possible. I wasn’t entirely able to avoid my dad, and so I had to spend a few minutes acting cheerful. I honestly tried to be excited about the gifts I’d asked him not to get me, but every time I had to smile, it felt like I might start crying.
I hope you enjoy. Let me know your thoughts at how it turned out and any feedback you may have. I will be posting my attempt at the Husband and Wife Drama later.
I felt a gnawing at my stomach, the smell of crisp, lovingly prepared bacon slowly waltzed its way into my room; I put on my black hoodie sweater and black leather boots and ran down the stairs and past the kitchen. As I was turning the doorknob, I heard my father say my name behind me.
I hesitated, turned around, and saw my father standing there looking at me with a half-smile. My dad was holding a plate of laboriously prepared pancakes with strips of bacon that were so perfect looking that they would make even the most award-winning chef violent with anger. My stomach hugged at me again, I could feel a headache coming on.
I looked at my wristwatch and said, “I gotta go.”
“Don’t you want to eat breakfast?” he asked as he furrowed his brow with a look that showed more concern than questioning.
“Uh,” I looked at my dad, then my watch, and finally settled on the ugly brown chair in the living room. I answered, “I’m not hungry,” my stomach pulled at me in protest.
“Don’t you want to stay home with your old man and try out your new ipod?”
“I really have to go,” I said my voice breaking a little. “But thank you so much for the new player.” I opened the door and walked outside.