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Tag Archives: Twilight

People probably describe me as a literature snob. In fact, I know I have had arguments about this often. I usually talk about how much I hate twilight or chick lit and how terrible Stephanie Meyers’ writing is without ever having read more than a few excerpts. Long excerpts, but I haven’t read the entire book, nor the entire series.

However, I have been thinking about my hatred of certain pop fiction and I think I should give one book a chance. And I will let you , the reader, choose the popular fiction book that I read. I’m hoping that I am pleasantly surprised.

I’ve left the poll open to other suggestions so that if some independent romance novelist wants me to review their book, if they get enough friends to come to this blog and vote. If you don’t vote, you don’t have a voice. So come on and pick your favorite book, just remember no literature, only fiction, I want James Patterson’s, Nora Jones’, Stephanie Meyers’. I want you to suggest Romance, Werewolf and Vampire teen fiction, Lawyer Thrillers, and Chick Lit mommy dramas. The only caveat is that I have to be able to find the book on Amazon, I really prefer to buy my books there, it’s quick and easy.

And I promise I will base my review on the book, I won’t compare it to Colum McCann or Junot Diaz. I will evaluate it on the strength of the novel, the style that the author is trying to portray, how engaging it is, how much work it required to get me to finish the book, how memorable it is, and how likely I would be to recommend it to someone I like.


Below you will find my effort at rewriting these lines from Twilight: New Moon.

I skipped breakfast, in a hurry to get out of the house as quickly as possible. I wasn’t entirely able to avoid my dad, and so I had to spend a few minutes acting cheerful. I honestly tried to be excited about the gifts I’d asked him not to get me, but every time I had to smile, it felt like I might start crying.

I hope you enjoy. Let me know your thoughts at how it turned out and any feedback you may have. I will be posting my attempt at the Husband and Wife Drama later.

I felt a gnawing at my stomach, the smell of crisp, lovingly prepared bacon slowly waltzed its way into my room; I put on my black hoodie sweater and black leather boots and ran down the stairs and past the kitchen. As I was turning the doorknob, I heard my father say my name behind me.

I hesitated, turned around, and saw my father standing there looking at me with a half-smile. My dad was holding a plate of laboriously prepared pancakes with strips of bacon that were so perfect looking that they would make even the most award-winning chef violent with anger. My stomach hugged at me again, I could feel a headache coming on.

I looked at my wristwatch and said, “I gotta go.”

“Don’t you want to eat breakfast?” he asked as he furrowed his brow with a look that showed more concern than questioning.

“Uh,” I looked at my dad, then my watch, and finally settled on the ugly brown chair in the living room. I answered, “I’m not hungry,” my stomach pulled at me in protest.

“Don’t you want to stay home with your old man and try out your new ipod?”

“I really have to go,” I said my voice breaking a little. “But thank you so much for the new player.” I opened the door and walked outside.

It is not any mystery that my favorite authors are Earnest Hemingway, Nathan Englander and George Orwell. Why do I love those writers more than I love other writers? I love them because they write in a way that allows me to be drawn into the world, where I can easily see the Ministry of Truth and Obrien’s face, that I can’t picture myself as Winston but I can see everything he is doing like I’m one of the people tasked with watching his telescreen feed.

What these writers do is they show us what is going on rather than tell.

Nathan Englander from The Tumblers

Great Read

Great Read

Mendel toasted her silently and, and after the blessing, sipped at his scotch, his first in so very long. He let its smoky flavor rise up and fill his head, hoping that if he drank slowly enough, if he let the scotch rest on his tongue long enough and roll gradually enough down his throat, then maybe he could cure his palate like the oak slats of a cask. Maybe then he could keep the warmth and the comfort with him for however much longer God might deem that they should survive.

George Orwell from 1984

Best Book EVER!

He took down from the shelf a bottle of colorless liquid with a plain white label marked VICTORY GIN. It gave off a sickly, oily smell, as of a Chinese rice-spirit. Winston poured out nearly a teacupful, nerved himself for a shock, and gulped it down like a dose of medicine.







Earnest Hemingway from Hills like White Elephants

Great Writer!

‘Would you please please please please please please please stop talking?’ [the girl said]

He did not say anything but looked at the bags against the wall of the station. There were labels on them from all the hotels where they had spent nights.

‘But I don’t want you to,’ he said, ‘I don’t care anything about it.’

‘I’ll scream,’ the girl said.

The woman came out through the curtains with two glasses of beer and put them down on the damp felt pads. ‘The train comes in five minutes,’ she said.

‘What did she say?’ asked the girl.

‘That the train is coming in five minutes.’

The girl smiled brightly at the woman, to thank her.

As you can see, they really go out of their way not to say anything directly to the reader. You can see from Englander that Mendel hasn’t had any scotch in so long and that he might not have eaten any food in a while also that he is savoring the drink because it might be particularly good scotch. And Orwell has Winston drinking some terribly disgusting gin that he doesn’t want to drink but seemingly needs to. Then there is for your review, Hemingway’s very famous Hills like White Elephants where you can see so many different problems going on with these two including the apparent age and maturity difference between the man and the ‘girl’ as well as their knowledge difference and the apparent change in language.

All of these passages are subtle. They don’t just throw out the information for you, it makes you a detective and places you actively in these stories and makes it into a story that you can read again and again.
Now as a contrast let us look at something from Twilight: New Moon.

Bad Writing = Big Bucks

I skipped breakfast, in a hurry to get out of the house as quickly as possible. I wasn’t entirely able to avoid my dad, and so I had to spend a few minutes acting cheerful. I honestly tried to be excited about the gifts I’d asked him not to get me, but every time I had to smile, it felt like I might start crying.

There are so many ways that she could have written this in order to show the reader that Bella is upset and wants to get away from her father rather than this. So many ways that I might just show you what I would do. Of course who am I to bash Stephanie Meyer apparently bad writing makes big bucks.

To compare lets check out Mark Twain’s The Adventures of Huckleberry Finnwhich is written in the first person as is New Moon.

Huckleberry Finn

Just Huck and N-word Jim.

I didn’t answer up prompt. I tried to, but the words wouldn’t come. I tried for a second or two to brace up and out with it, but i warn’t man enought — hadn’t the spunk of a rabbit. i swee i was weakening; so i just gave up trying, and up and says:

“He’s white.”

Did you see the difference, how unlike the way Meyers just puts out how Bella is sad, Twain makes you work a little to realize that Huck is scared and nervous and trying to secure himself in the lie hes about to tell but Twain never just out and out says that he lets you picture it in your mind more.

So for the exercise:
You can try writing the paragraph above over into as many or as little paragraphs as you want. Or you could try the below situation with as little telling as possible.

The Situation:

A husband has just been fired but does not want to tell his wife but he comes home early. The wife has her lover upstairs but doesn’t want him to know about that either.

Try it and enjoy!

Will post my effort next Monday.

Also post your efforts and send a link so we can show the efforts of budding writers.

And remember buy from because Barnes and Nobel sucks.