I do consider myself a writer, but I have realized that the amount I have been writing has been lacking recently. I occasionally get sucked into the black hole that is reality tv programming (Project Runway, Real Housewives of the OC, and Downsized) and Daytime Court Shows (Judge Joe Brown, The Peoples Court, and Judge Mathis). I also despite my best intentions get sucked into celebrity news gossip from the likes of TMZ. And to be honest, even though, I pride myself on loving high quality books, movies, and television. Just as I’m sure Anthony Bourdain has a low-class candy bar once in a while, I allow myself to rot my brain out with the likes of junk food television.
Someone said something to the effect of “Writer’s write, this is what I do,” however, try as I might to find any proof of it via the acceptance speech transcripts of the Oscars, I cannot find the quote.
However, Thomas Berger has a decent quote about writers that I think makes up for my wonky brain.
Why do writers write? Because it isn’t there.
So, basically, I was shamed into feeling bad because I haven’t written much. Although, just as Daniel O’brien from Cracked.com has stated, “The More You Talk About the Book You’re Writing, The Less You’ve Written” in his article about bizarrely Specific Stereotypes You Can’t Help But Notice. (It’s the #1 stereotype.)
Now writing is hard, that’s a fact. There’s something about creating an entire universe or world from nothing except your own brain and maybe a bit of experience. Imagination is key, and in a world of recycled ideas, where even people with their unique DNA have become carbon-copies of each other. So I do have trouble writing. However, I’ve been using a few key tools to do my writing as of late.
Below you will find my effort at rewriting these lines from Twilight: New Moon.
I skipped breakfast, in a hurry to get out of the house as quickly as possible. I wasn’t entirely able to avoid my dad, and so I had to spend a few minutes acting cheerful. I honestly tried to be excited about the gifts I’d asked him not to get me, but every time I had to smile, it felt like I might start crying.
I hope you enjoy. Let me know your thoughts at how it turned out and any feedback you may have. I will be posting my attempt at the Husband and Wife Drama later.
I felt a gnawing at my stomach, the smell of crisp, lovingly prepared bacon slowly waltzed its way into my room; I put on my black hoodie sweater and black leather boots and ran down the stairs and past the kitchen. As I was turning the doorknob, I heard my father say my name behind me.
I hesitated, turned around, and saw my father standing there looking at me with a half-smile. My dad was holding a plate of laboriously prepared pancakes with strips of bacon that were so perfect looking that they would make even the most award-winning chef violent with anger. My stomach hugged at me again, I could feel a headache coming on.
I looked at my wristwatch and said, “I gotta go.”
“Don’t you want to eat breakfast?” he asked as he furrowed his brow with a look that showed more concern than questioning.
“Uh,” I looked at my dad, then my watch, and finally settled on the ugly brown chair in the living room. I answered, “I’m not hungry,” my stomach pulled at me in protest.
“Don’t you want to stay home with your old man and try out your new ipod?”
“I really have to go,” I said my voice breaking a little. “But thank you so much for the new player.” I opened the door and walked outside.